Just about every species practices—and in some cases perfects—certain forms of cannibalism.
I didn’t say that. The guy on TV, that anonymous narrator with the fake American accent did. Listen:
Do you know which creature, relative to its size, is irrefutably the most aggressive on the entire planet?
Got me.
I’ll confess, the answer was not my first, or fifth choice. Not a lion (he explained), or an elephant, or alligator, or ant or even a gnat (which I would have guessed, just to be ironic, because as small as gnats are, there have to be even smaller insects whose asses they can kick—otherwise there wouldn’t be so many goddamn gnats).
Check this out: there is a type of frog in South America so insatiable that not only does it attack and attempt to eat anything and everything smaller than itself, it even attempts to ingest things larger than itself. Seriously. Not infrequently (he explained), this overkill (so to speak) leads directly to death: it’s not suicide, it’s even more senseless. When these little fuckers get their mouth around something—another frog, for instance—and refuse to let go, they will hang on until they choke themselves.
Kind of makes you look at old Kermit in a whole new way, huh?
Yeah, I’m the guy who always cheers for the gazelle to escape when it’s being tracked down by the cheetah on one of those nature shows.
But I reckon I’m like most people: whether it’s car crashes or confrontations in nature, it’s almost impossible to avoid watching.
And, as painful as it is for me (not to mention the poor prey) to see, I also can appreciate that if the cheetah doesn’t make the kill, she (and her babies) are just as likely to die. It is, as they say, a jungle out there.
But as grisly as it can be, watching a big cat take care of business is not as bad as the crocodiles cruising the shallow water and pouncing on the thirsty zebras.
But in ascending order of creepiness, I’m not sure anything is more cringe-inducing than the frog. To be certain, there is something beyond primal about frogs. The shark and even the snake have the teeth and they kill quickly, or inject venom to hasten the death. The frog just rolls up and opens its mouth. And swallows. Or, if it takes a few bites, it patiently gobbles in bits and pieces. It’s not interested in biting, stinging, ripping or shredding. It just ingests. Take a look at the video, below:
Ouch.
Maybe part of it is in knowing that even if faced with certain animals or mammals that could easily kill us (sharks, whales, certain bears, etc.) they are simply not interested in human flesh –or would likely only eat us as a last resort. Looking at a frog there is no question: those unmoving, and unmoved eyes signal only one thing: if I could get my mouth around you, I would.
To which I say: watch out for that snake.
